Today, the Dickinson College class of 2011 gathered in front of Old West and closed out a chapter of their lives and graduated from college. Unbelievable. Inshallah that will be me next year.
This morning I woke up in my room at my homestay in Rabat with the realization that I have now hit the single digit amount of days left in the country. It’s amazing how fast time can whiz by, even just at age 21. Back in August, an academic year felt like an eternity.
I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt so ambivalent in my life about something. While I have one foot out the door, ready to go back to the U.S. and there are so many things I’m looking forward to, I still seem to have this other foot planted so firmly in Morocco and am not ready to give it all up.
To most clearly demonstrate this I made a list of things I’m craving in the States and on the flip-side a list of things I don’t want to leave behind. Interestingly, the lists are paradoxical, which I guess explains the tugging and pulling of wanting to leave and stay at the same time.
Some things I am so excited for: daily showers, the Rocky Mountains in lovely Colorado, non-overly-milky and diarrhetic coffee and Starbucks, cold coffee drinks, my car, tank tops, shorts (basically any somewhat revealing clothing or should I say weather-appropriate clothing?), drive-thrus, 24-hour diners, late-night strolls, clean animals, diverse and ethnic food/control of what I’m eating, cheese (I guess I shouldn’t list all foods, that could be a whole post in itself), 24-hour Fitness, customer service, free re-fills, movie theaters, the public library, being able to flawlessly communicate in a language a.k.a. speaking my native tongue, air conditioning & central heating, NBA and MLB, coupons and not stressing over having to negotiate everything down to a good price, bike rides, and probably many more things, oh and of course and foremost, my wonderful family and friends–love and miss you all so much!
Things I am sad to leave behind (notice many parallels): Maxi Form and fitness classes (my awesome gym with special thanks to instructors Hicham and Hassan), couscous Fridays (a tradition I’ll bring back home), the call to prayer, Islamic architecture, spontaneous weekend trips, never knowing what each day will hold, the hammam, my ladies at Salon Zohra and affordable A-lister treatment, Moroccan mint tea, banana juice (also bringing back to the States), cheap DVDs, walking in the medina and then getting lost and then finding my way again or going back the next time knowing how to navigate the maze, bargaining and getting that amazing deal, being able to afford taking taxis all the time, cafe culture (just ordering one coffee and staying at a table just chilling for hours), learning and advancing and communicating in a language other than my own, cute old Arab men, adorable Moroccan children, football-centric sports culture, love, watching Turkish soap dramas with my host mom, and each member of my host family
In my final abroad column in the graduation issue of The Dickinsonian I further get in to lessons learned and my feelings on leaving Morocco–in perhaps a more sophisticated way. Boom, here it is:
Me and my bird-watching guide Hassan in Moulay Bousselhem, Morocco. This was easily one of the happiest times of my year abroad. Some friends and i hired Hassan and took a boat out in this beautiful lagoon filled with birds with a wild flamingoes sighting!
I look back at myself when I first got to Morocco, arriving smack in the middle of Ramadan, and I cannot believe how quickly my study abroad experience flew by and how much has changed in just a year.
Last August I knew zero Arabic, knew no one in Morocco, knew almost nothing about the country and its people and knew as much about Islam as the average American—which, in all honesty, isn’t too much.
Today I cannot claim an expertise in Islam and Moroccan culture (there are still so many mysteries I have yet to crack) or fluency in Arabic, but I can say I have a pretty solid understanding of them and that I have since put roots down in Morocco. The time that I have spent here is a major part of my life—Morocco is no longer just another country that I’ve read about or seen in the movies.
Ever since my freshmen year at Dickinson I was certain I would go abroad to have some adventures and maybe learn a thing or two. I got that and more; I experienced my highest highs and lowest lows of my life over here and have learned an enormous amount about myself, Moroccans, the MENA region, people Americans, travel and life in general.
The changes manifesting in the Arab world invariably made this spring a very exciting time to study in the region. When I enrolled in my political science course that examines openings for democracy in Morocco, I did not realize that the course content would be the same stuff I’d be watching on Al Jazeera or Al Arabiya with my host family each night.
Even though Morocco is purportedly going through “quiet reform” and we’re not witnessing full-blown revolution, watching the protests from day to day has been interesting as well as watching the King, his government and the people themselves respond.
Dickinson is all about engaging the world, taking the knowledge learned in the classroom to the next level and then another step further. My year in Rabat was my first real chance to get out of the States and engage the world, but further, have another part of the world touch my life.
I saw though that this experience was more take than give, but I realized that’s okay. One of my classes recently had a discussion on the Greg Mortenson scandal, the story that the renowned “Three Cups of Tea” author had sensationalized his experiences in his book and that he was actually pretty selfish and a difficult character to work with. The scandal itself isn’t important but the discussion that it sparked in my class is.
All in all, we concluded that when studying and working abroad, you cannot necessarily set out to revolutionize or even change a place for the better. Sometimes the best thing you can do is observe, learn, participate and then exchange ideas from one culture to another. Things to the American eye may look inefficient, pointless, or crazy, but if you take a moment to get a closer look, everything’s as it should be and there is reason behind the madness.
In no way did I revolutionize Moroccan society, and maybe I didn’t even majorly alter someone’s life in the dramatic sense, but I lived in Morocco as much as a Westerner with limited language skills could, I made connections with my host family and some Moroccan friends and I learned so much, and occasionally shared some American cultural insights. That was enough.
The big question that remains unanswered is what will happen when I return to the States next month and when I return to Dickinson for my senior year. Will everything be completely different and is reverse culture shock real? Or will things have stayed the same like I was never even here? I’ve heard from a number of friends who have studied abroad that going home is just like waking up from a dream. It won’t be too long before I find out, but I figure I’ll find one way or another to put all my lessons learned to use when I get back and keep my two worlds connected.
And I will certainly be seeking out all the Moroccans in town when I get back so I can practice my Moroccan Arabic, eat some good meals and, in some way hold on to the country and experience as much as I can.
Julianne Cut 